"IT’S REALLY NONE OF MY CONCERN!”

I read a book recently that my executive coach gave me. (Yes, I believe if I am going to be a coach that I should also be coached.) The book is called The Magic of Thinking Big, by David J. Schwartz. One of the ideas in the book is that you should spend as little time as possible with folks who are always concerned about unimportant things. Do you know anyone like that? They talk a lot, but it’s always about things that would never concern you. And when you start to think about their topics of discussion, you realize that these topics don’t really put you in a good frame of mind.I saw an example of this on a cruise I recently took. I haven’t tried out what the one person said to the other, but I’m considering it if I ever need it. As the days of the cruise passed, I would see this group of people who were probably traveling together. I noticed that there was one man (we will call him TM, Talkative Man) that was always talking to another who always seemed to have that “deer in the headlights” look. Let’s call him BM (Bored Man). There are those little signs I saw that made me think he was bored of TM:

1. BM had empty glasses lined up behind his drinks, like he had already finished quite a few.
2. When TM wasn’t looking, BM would put his finger to his head like it was a gun.
3. Whenever the group walked together BM would stay way behind TM and talk under his breath.

Here’s the line I’m thinking about trying out: As TM was going on and on about something pretty trivial, he asked BM what he thought about this person who had done something. BM said:“I don’t know the answer to that. It’s really none of my concern.”TM stopped talking for a moment and seemed to question why BM would say that. I think it makes sense. It’s the truth. BM doesn’t think about that because it’s none of his business. ACTION STEPS FOR THIS WEEK

1. Is there anything you talk about that is really something that should be filtered so that you never become a TM or a TW (Talker Man or Talker Woman)?
2. If someone is starting to talk about something that is none of their business, should you say the quote above to let them know it’s really not something you want to discuss?
3. How many TMs or TWs are in your life? If there one or more, should you think about what you’re filling your mind with?
4. Being a good listener is always essential, but sometimes you may need to be the talker to get a conversation back on a road that is worth traveling.